Time and Time Again
by LaurenLillian
Summary: Amidst a great war in the wizarding world there may be one last hope for peace that lays in the past of Severus Snape. Albus Dumbledore presents Snape with an altered time turner, a way for him to return to years past to alter the course of their magical history and rescue them all from their dark fates. Severus accepts this mission, with his selfish hopes in mind...
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Snapes Worst Memory**

"It may have escaped your notice, but life isnt fair" Severus Snape heard himself state coldly to a young boy with a curious lightning shaped scar on his forehead.

Harry Potter glared furiously at his pale skinned, ebony haired professor, rubbing his head painfully. Snape, on command from Dumbledore, was to be teaching Harry to protect himself from the Dark Lord's powerful legilimency skills, but even after many months of sessions Snape was still breaking into his most private thoughts without much effort. Snapes last attempt had given him access to thoughts he was sure neither Harry nor himself wished they had experienced, and Harry had lashed out.

"Weve been at it for hours!" He yelled, his voice dangerously close to a whine. "If I could only rest... Your not showing me how to defend myself properly... its not fair". At this Snape had enough of the childs complaints, and responded in kind.

Just then the door to the classroom opened and Draco Malfoy stepped into the room, almost immediately sneering at Harry.

"Professor Snape sir" he began eagerly, his eyes flicking quickly between Harry and Snape, "Come quickly sir, Montagues been found upstairs stuffed into a vanishing cabinet, Madam Pomfrey said to run and get you... He trailed off.

"Potter stay put, I will be back shortly to continue your, er, remedial potions, lesson" he commanded with a smirk. Malfoy looked positively elated to be privy to the small piece of gossip and left the room quickly, no doubt to spread this information as quickly as possible to his fellow Slytherins.

Snape turned and left the room with a snap of his long black robes. Heading towards the hospital wing, he heard Potter sigh dramatically as he left. He knew he shouldn't be so childish in his torment of the boy, he knew truly that Harry was not his father, but he could not help but see James when he looked there and the hatred that rose blocked out the truth like the moon did the sun in an eclipse, and all that remained was the blood deep loathing Snape held for James.

He pushed through the heavy oak doors to get into the hospital wing and pulled his long shoulder length black hair behind his ears impatiently, so it would be out of his face and he could focus on the task before him without distraction. He could hear a commotion behind a far bed hidden by thick drapings drawn around to hide whatever was happening within. He strode up impatiently, throwing the hangings back so he could enter.

"Ah, Professor Snape...yes well im relieved you were available to stop by, see Montague has somehow become quite stuck in this cabinet" Madam Pomfrey declared matter of factly. "I have attempted all the charms I am aware of to free him but Ive had no luck... therefore I can only assume he is held by Dark Magic..."

Snapes mouth became a thin line, indicating his impatience with the situation. How he truly felt was a different matter, would there ever be an instance where dark magic was involved and he wouldnt be the first individual on everyone's mind to procure a solution? He sighed inwardly, somehow he doubted it.

Severus left the hospital wing after only 15 minutes, after performing a complex bit of magic to counter act the dark curse preventing Montague from leaving the cabinet. Being removed from the cabinet was the least of Montagues troubles, Severus thought darkly, and he swept down a staircase that twisted down to his office and classroom. Montague had been in quite a state when Snape left the wing, raving about voices and other nonsense. Probably splintered his brain trying to apparate out of the damned cabinet...

As he rounded the corner and re entered the classroom where he had been instructing Harry he was confused to find the room empty, surely the impertinent child had not left before he returned... though that would allow him to leave early and enjoy the rest of the evening away from the presence of any students. The thought heartened him for a moment before he heard a scraping through the door that connected his office to the classroom. Severus felt his insides freeze as though filled with ice, surely not he thought, as he approached the door and let his eyes sweep his office. His fears were immediately confirmed, the scraping noise was Potters hand moving over the corner of his stone Pensieve, the basin where Severus emptied his most private thoughts before each session so even in the remote accidental chance his thoughts became exposed Potter could never see the truth.

But now here he was, gripping Severus' pensieve, immersing himself in his most private moments. Snape had never felt such a rage inside himself, and it rose so quickly he felt like unsheathing his wand and slashing Potter from throat to navel with Sectumsempra. Who knows what he has seen of me now, Severus blanked, icy panic filling his every vein. He grabbed the boys collar, pulling his head from the pensieve and forcing him back to reality.

When Harry saw he was once again facing the real Snape he became frightened, he knew how wrong he was for what he had just done, invading Snapes privacy, and he was still in shock from the scenes of his much younger father interacting with his mother and Snape.

"Im s-s-sorry Professor, I was j-j-just looking around, and the l-l-light from the... Harry started in a petrified stutter. But Severus would not hear any more.

"Just thought you'd poke around did you" Severus was apoplectic. "See what you were looking for, your dear old dad everything you thought he would be?"

The words hit Harry like the Cruciatous curse and he flinched as though slapped.

"I-i-im sorry sir, i didnt k-k-know..."Harry looked at him almost apologetically. He had always assumed Snape was a liar of the worst kind, but the scene he had just witnessed told a much different story.

"Get out of my sight!" Severus raged "These lessons are at an end, I cant even stand to look at you". He watched Harry stumble out of his office and heard the echoes of his footfalls as he ran up the staircase and out of the dungeons.

Severus continued to breathe heavily for some time, as he stared at the pensieve. He did not need to ponder which scene upon which Potter had been gazing, he had only removed one memory tonight to the protection of his pensieve, Snapes worst memory. He approached the bin when he had calmed, and held his wand just above the silvery liquid. A long thin, string like strand siphoned out of the bin, broke, and disappeared as Severus held it to his temple. The memory was returned to the safety of his own memory, he should have trusted his occlumency skills, he cursed his lack of confidence. He fumed at the thought of Potter examining his memory of the day he ruined his most coveted relationship. He felt the need to speak with Albus about it and set off at once to the Headmasters office. He swept through the halls silently and with purpose, encountering very few others at the late hour. He soon reached the great griffin that protected the headmaster.

"Skiving Snackbox" Severus said, his deep baritone voice betraying his distaste for the silly password.

He climbed the tall twisting stairs easily, his thick black robes disguising his powerful body. He was heavier than in his youth, but still possessed an athletic form, he took pride in his physical presence as much as his magical abilities. He ran his fingers through his long pitch black hair and thought that perhaps it could stand to be washed more, he heard what his students, and even some teachers, said about him. He simply could not be bothered most of the time to make more of an effort, its not as though there was anyone in the castle worth making an effort for... and he was immediately reminded why he was ascending to Dumbledore's office.

It had been a long time since he had really stopped and thought about Lily, he had specially removed the memory earlier in the evening so he would not have to dwell on his perfect recollection of her beautiful red hair, and her stunning green eyes that had shown only hatred after their fated exchange on that day so many years ago when his pride has overruled his good sense and he had called the girl he loved a mudblood. He shook his head with the pain of recalling his words, hoping to dislodge them from his head, but he knew he would never forget. He felt his rage fading and being replaced with self loathing as he approached the door to Dumbledore's chambers, he was ready to turn around and retire to his own chambers, he simply did not feel the desire to get into a row with Albus tonight over Potters arrogance and incompetence. He had no sooner turned to leave when he heard Dumbledore's voice address him through the large wooden door.

"Severus please don't skulk about in the hallway, come in and have some tea, I do believe I have made to much to drink all on my own" His voice was cheery as usual, tinged with the amusement of one who always seemed to know.

Severus sighed aloud this time. How did he always know? He opened the door and entered the well lit chambers inside.


	2. Chapter 2: The Hopeglass

Severus entered Dumbledores office, trying to keep his face impassive while simultaneously wishing that he had managed to escape to his bedchambers and entirely avoid whatever exchange was about to occur between himself and Albus.

Dumbledore seemed to read his mind "I know it is quite late, however, I can assure you this conversation is one you will not regret sacrificing a little of your precious time for Severus" he stated with a small smile.

Severus did not change his drawn expression as he sat down across Dumbledores desk. His eyes were drawn to Albus' blackened dead hand, the result of a horrible curse he had sustained earlier in the year in his quest to destroy one of Lord Voldemort's horcruxes. In a very rare moment indeed, Dumbledore had been a little careless, and that was all that was required for him to fall victim to the curse placed upon the ring, almost killing him. He had apparated in front of Severus dying, and had he not assisted Dumbledore immediately by containing the curse temporarily in his damaged hand they would not be sitting together having a conversation this particular evening. They both knew it was only a temporary treatment, the curse would eventually spread from Dumbledores hand to the rest of his body. As they both sat and breathed, they knew that Albus was dying.

"Had you not come tonight, I would have implored to seek you out at the next earliest opportunity" Dumbledore continued on conversationally. "After many years of research and contributions from many witches and wizards, staff and those outside our walls, we finally finished the Hopeglass" He beamed as he pulled out what looked like a tarnished pocket watch. Severus looked closely at the watch, wondering if Dumbledore could possibly be telling him what he thought he was telling him. He couldnt possibly have been successful Severus thought, feeling stunned, hardly daring to believe.

"You.. you have created a functional glass?" Severus questioned, his eyes not leaving the small silver watch.

Dumbledore nodded. "Years of work Severus, this is the answer to everything. With this we could win the war and save many, many lives, including my own" He chuckled. "Short of testing it, which you know would be impossible, I have performed every spell on its composition that I know, and I have no reason to believe that it should work in any manner but for the purpose it was created".

Severus kept his face in a well practiced expressionless arrangement as he palmed the watch, flipping it open and examining the tiny hourglass inside. It was so tiny it required stability and protection, which Severus assumed was why it was housed in the pocket watch body. He looked as closely as he could at the miniature hourglass and saw that there couldnt be more than 30 grains of sand held the bottom half of the glass.

He kept his tone even as he addressed Albus. "How does it work?"

"In much the same way as a time turner, though each grain represents a year rather than a minute... " He said this so lightly that it took Severus a couple moments before he comphrehended the meaning of his statement. Severus quickly and carefully set the watchglass back on the desk in front of Dumbledore. No wonder there were so few grains he thought darkly. One wrong turn and you could send yourself back to a time before "you" even existed. Severus was a uncommonly skilled and intelligent wizard, and as such, knew what kind of damage could be done if one meddled with time. When he glanced up, however, his eyes met Dumbledores and he had suspicous feeling Dumbledore did not call him in just to let him have a look at the magnificent feat of magical engineering.

"Severus, we are both to old to play at pretenses, so I shall say outright, I wish for you to take the Hopeglass and travel back to your 16th year. There are no others who are willing to make the trip. Everyone wants this war to end, but not at the cost of their present. I could think of no one who has as little to lose as you, forgive me for saying so." Albus looked over his glasses when he said this, conveying to Severus that he meant only to be practical. "Severus, this is our chance to change everything... If you go back lives could be saved, outcomes will be different, this war will be different. Lily would still be alive Severus, you may well be able to save her... you could change your worst memory."

Severus knew Dumbledore had saved that statement for last, he had wanted to impart on Snape the reality of what could happen if he chose to do this one last thing for Dumbledore. He would no longer be in Albus' servitude, no longer felt bound to pay for all his years of crimes and his worst betrayal, which had led to the death of Lily, his greatest love, before they could mend the chasm that had formed between them and their once intimate relationship. Severus dwelled on these thoughts for a moment before another thought occurred to him.

"No one else is willing to use the glass" he finally stated, matter of factly, to Dumbledore who seemed to have been waiting for Severus to speak.

"You are correct. I have not been able to persuade anyone else to undertake this most particlar task, for there can be only an ultimate victory in this task, the vanquishment of Voldemort, but in this great success they will feel little success themselves, for they will have left everything in their present behind to rescue all of our futures. Everyone they have loved and everything they have built for themselves will be lost, with no guarantee they shall rediscover these loves or rebuild that which will be lost for the second time in their pasts."

Severus knew at once that Dumbledore had never asked anyone else to carry out this task, there would never be another wizard with more regrets about the sins of the past then Severus, no one with a desire to leave all they had behind, let alone with the burning desire he felt to change all that he and his life had become.

He reached out and delicately grasped the glass and placed it inside one of the hidden pockets within the folds of his robes. The two men sat in slience across from each other for a time before Dumbledore spoke once again.

"I trust this will be goodbye then Severus" he said heavily. "I dont believe that when you came to me so many years ago begging for her life that you ever truly believed you would recover that which had been lost, but now, I offer you with the chance for true redemption, Go Severus, and take this last chance to save our world, and perhaps, yourself in the process. Two turns should suffice".

Snape stood up and swept out of the room without hesitation, his face betraying nothing of the storm beginning to rage inside him at the thought of the journey he was to undertake. He descended the staircase quickly, he wanted nothing more to hide himself away in the astronomy tower and think on what had just transpired. He began to head in that direction when he walked into someone rounding the corner in front of him.

"Oof... " the small witch he had bumped into fell to the floor and look up at him scowling before she recognized him and smiled instead. "Oi, Sev, you need to watch where your going now, knocking me down, could have broken my leg now couldnt I?"

Normally Charity Babbage offhand joking agreed with Severus' sense of humour and was at least able to garner a smirk, but this night was not the same as the others. He offered a hand to Charity to help her from the cold stone floor. Her lovely chesnut coloured hair fell in ringlets around her face and her dimples stood out as she beamed at him, making herself look far younger than her 34 years. He knew she still fancied him after they had been briefly involved romantically the past year, what she saw in him he really had no idea but she didnt seem bothered in the least when he had lost interest in calling on her, and they had fallen into a comfortable familiarity im their exchanges, though Severus was still rather sure Charity would not protest if he was to call on her for company again. Tonight, however, he could not wish to be alone more.

He pulled Charity up, and did not protest when she pulled herself closer to Severus than need be. She let her lips graze his cheek lightly and breathed in deeply. His lack of response only told her she would be most unlikely indeed to have any success in sharing his company this evening.

"Always a pleasure Sev" she said with a wink, in her sing songey voice. With that she was off in a swish of curls and sweet perfume. Soon the echoes of her footseps died away and he found himself alone again.

She was only the second woman in his life that ever called him Sev, after Lily, and he tolerated it because it reminded him of her. With her bouncy personality and unexplainable fondness for him Severus found her company to be enjoyable at times if only for physical reasons, and other times he could almost hear Lily when she spoke.

When he looked back on this chance meeting with Charity he would know that his decision was made then, he could not spend one more night of his life remebering all that had come to pass, all the death and loss that followed him for all his days. Even if he could never mend what he had broken with Lily it would be enough to ensure her survival, and possibly the survival of countless others.

He arrived at the astronomy tower and with a flick of his wand, retracted the roof so he could look out unencumbered into the night sky. It was a clear night and the sky was lit up with all the stars and planets he had once been taught under the same roof he now resided under. Severus pulled the Hopeglass from his robes and examined it, careful not to tilt it to far. It was a beautiful watch, the mechanism turned beautifully and the engravings were of his house, Slytherin, a detailed basilisk curled around the watch front. His fingers traced the design and then, without a second thought, he turned it twice and closed his eyes.


End file.
